i’m bored. okaay sooo i just feel like saying eeeverything on my mind currently. i may give up soon though.

i still can’t believe tomorrow is the last day of school. honestly, it feels like we just came into pennfield as little & innocent seventh graders. i still remember so well the last day of elementary school. absoulutely every single person cried. i really hope that doesn’t happen tomorrow. i don’t cry anymore. only acception maybe is high school graduation. but i don’t think i’ll let myself tomorrow. part of me is saying hell yeah i’m out of this horrible school, but the other is thinking that i don’t wanna move on. high school means new people, new surroundings. i mean i love change but everything is happening so fast. things that happened back in november & december feel so distant, but still like they just happened. i hope summer slows things down & makes me think clearer.

another thing that has been bugging my mind for a couple days is what i’m goinf to do with my life. there’s so many different lives that i want to live, but only one to actually make everything happen. when i’m 70 years old i want to look back and say “damn, i lived my life how i wanted to.” and not something like “damn, i wish i would have..” the only thing i know for sure is that i’m not staying in this place. i’m already sick of it. everyone is the same. i’m tired of dealing with the same old shit everyday. i want to move somewhere faraway. maybe a west coast city, maybe even overseas. i don’t know yet. its weird to think about. i don’t even know what i want to be. the only thing i have in mind is a CSI. according to one of my friends, i have thick skin and i’m a apparent when i want to be. that stuff always interested me anyways. another thing i was thinking about was sports, except you have to be atleast over like 5’6” to even get recognized. and i don’t have the determination to work twice as harder as everyone else just to be noticed. but i still don’t know.
last night i listened to the song “100 years” by five for fighting. it made me think about that stuff even more.

today was an interesting day i guess. eeh. it rained. alot. & hailed. i loved it. i shut my music and my tv off just to listen to the silence & the rain hitting the ground and the roof. it was relaxing. but made me think even more.